Nathan Weselake

Dustin Byfuglien and the net gains of social media engagement for pastors.

Noise leaves you guessing.  it’s overheard gossip passed on to you about someone complaining.  It’s the ill advised FB status which makes your heart sink as you wonder what is happening.  It’s rumours and hints. It is the “you need to be ready” warnings from the more dramatic people in your life.  Heavy on the delivery, weak on the substance.

Signal is clear and compelling, undeniable and unmistakeable.  Signal reaches you without you having to work hard to find it.  It is so substantial that when it reaches you - you may now always know what to do, but you know you need to do something.

An example to clarify:

Noise is the FB status of your employee’s spouse  which says “I wish people would stop making unreasonable demands.”

Signal is the employee sitting in your office telling you that they can’t keep up the pace or they will burn out.

The former leaves you guessing the latter gives you crystal clarity.

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I felt I needed to do my weekly post and this is what came out.

Listening:

• Josh Ritter “The Beast In It’s Tracks” - songs about his marriage ending; haunting, hopeful, beautiful, and provoking.  To me it is an album about the heroic efforts required to navigate pain without Christ.  Yet, consistently, Ritter’s music gives me a new vocabulary for understanding my faith. This album is no exception.
• The Lumineers “The Lumineers”- they light up my life.

Reading:

• Nassim Taleb “Anti-Fragile” - his follow up to Black Swan is an easier (but by no means easy) read and has a more practical bent to it.  I get a kick out of how his teaching has echoes of Christ all through it.  I swear some of it should be in red letters; I’ve wondered if Taleb knows this.
• Don Delillo “Underworld” - not that far into this one; but when I am going to buy a book these days I find myself automatically looking for authors that the deceased David Foster Wallace held in high esteem.  Delillo was sometimes one of these….Wallace had his ups and downs.
• Gospel of Mark - preaching on it in 2014, so while I have an eye towards that at this stage I can read it more or less “selfishly”

Playing:

• nightly hockey in the basement with Soren
• transitioning from ski’s to bike trainer; eying a one day race as this summer’s motivational target.
• proving to Acacia I am a terrible rapper; I’ve got pretty quick vocabulary so the rhymes flow, like there’s no one I owe, let’s just go, grab your hoe, Acacia is still not in the know, unaware of double entendre, I’m sniping like Peter Bondra, in his prime, with the Cap’s sublime, all the hat’s tossed on the ice, in Florida Scott Mellanby’s mice…and you get the idea….now imagine this is your tuck in story…it is a wonder the kid can sleep.

You wish they would but they wont because you haven’t explained it well - Part 2

This is part two…for the first part of this post click here

2. Develop a simple vocabulary which clarifies.

Possibly the best take away from the meeting I mentioned in the last post was the strategy the team came up with to get me to assign a number of importance to something I care a lot about.  When there is confusion in someone’s mind (and it happens more than I’d have thought) they will ask me to give it a number between 1-5.  5 being “this matters big time and you need to move heaven and earth to be there” to 1 being “if you have anything else to do during that time do it”.  

3. Regularly clarify your expectations for each person you lead.

I’ve had people on my team busting their butt to make me happy and at the same time I’ve been frustrated because I wonder why the heck they are spending so much time on something I don’t care about. This is my fault.  If I’ve got a loyal soldier who is giving it everything they have and believes they are working in line with the big picture it is my role to re-direct that effort.  

When expectations are clarified you know what happens?  You find out if the problem is you or them. Because if the frustration goes away, you know the problem was you.  If they still spend hours doing things you have clearly said don’t matter, then you know the problem is them.  

What you can’t do is leave someone to just figure it out.  Or give hints you think are totally obvious, but just add confusion and worry.  I can’t stand leadership hints - they are either missed entirely (and then add to your frustration) or else they are felt waaaay heavier then intended.  Have the courage to sit down and say “I want you to do this and not this and if you do the former you are a success in my book”.  At least you’ll get somewhere.

4. Consistency

I’ve heard visionary types talk about the need for repetition.  And yes, you have to say it lots.  But more important than that, whatever “it” is can’t change every few months or even years.  If you keep your “it” for 10 years you will end up repeating “it” a lot.  I’d say consistency is more important than repetition because repetition is a by product of consistency. 

At PAC we are moving into year 4 of UPSIDEDOWN.  It isn’t going anywhere.  In fact, we are just starting to see it’s versatility for HC, 2 locations, youth, Westpark School, discipleship and even for setting up what we do in Mexico City.

That’s it.  Feel free to drop me a note and let me know about a time where your lack of communication created unnecessary resentment inside you - I love knowing I’m not the only one.

You wish they would but they won’t because you haven’t explained it well Part 1.

About half a year ago, I was trying hard not to let frustration get the better of me.  We had an initiative happening here at the which required on line registration.  As the event got closer and closer I’d check the site and get angrier and angrier at the lack of staff names who had signed up.

My inner dialogue was along these lines:

How many times do I have to bring the importance of this up?  But even if I never brought it up, they should all be signing up just out of their own passion for PAC’s mission.  Or at the least they should be signing up to set a good example for their teams.  Is this open defiance?  Why don’t they care?  How come they can’t see this is critical? I’m going to have to really put my foot down.  But I don’t want a bunch of grudging “employee’s” signing up for something because they HAVE to.  We are a team.  I want them to come alongside just because it matters.  How could they be this out of sync with our mission?  I don’t want to twist any arms….I think I’m gonna have to TWIST SOME ARMS.

In a meeting I brought up my frustration at what I perceived to be the lack of buy in.  When I was done people looked confused.  They were looking at each other, waiting to see who would be the first one to push back on me. It took me about 5 seconds to realize my inner dialogue was pretty out of touch with reality.  Their faces, and then their words, clearly told me I had read it wrong.  The truth was, whether I liked it or not, they had not received from me what I assumed I had communicated with crystal clarity.

As we sorted it out a few things became clear to me.  While it was not fun to hear, it ended up being good news.  It’s always good news when the problem is you, because you are easier for yourself to fix than trying to fix someone else.  Here is what I learned, hope it helps: 

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Josh Ritter writes a better break up song than Taylor Swift.  Now I just have to convince Acacia.

You wish they would but they won’t and it bugs you.

Now we flip the coin over.  We’ve been looking at those who are more than willing to lead but are not able to for whatever reason.  Now, I want to spend the next few posts looking at those who could very well lead but don’t.

And it bugs you.

It bugs you that someone else who could make a difference doesn’t care as much as you do and couldn’t be bothered to bring what they could bring to the cause and mission.

There are reasons why they may not want to be a part of the mission of your church and we will get to those.  But first let me ask:

Why does it bug you?

Does it bug you because you know what they could contribute to the cause of Christ and His Kingdom - both time, talent, and resources?  

Does it bug you because you know the joy they are missing out on if they could find a way to really let go and bring their best to the cause.

Or,

Does it bug you because you need your ego stroked by someone who you think is a big deal?

Does it bug you because you desperately need affirmation from someone who has “made it” in the secular marketplace.  

Does it bug you because you are insecure about what you are doing and really need someone whose opinion matters to you to tell you what you are doing matters?

Obviously, if it is anything like the last 3 you are in trouble because any asking or vision casting you do to land the “big fish” is going to, at root, be an invitation to them to help you build your own ego and small “k” kingdom.  They probably wont want to be a part of that - who could blame them?  They are leaders who presumably want to make an impact not counsellors who want to help you feel better about yourself.  

So you need to sort out why it bugs you.  Ask someone you trust what they see in you when it comes to “chasing” some people.  I remember someone on our staff a few years ago calling me on how I had a higher level of grace for people I perceived as influential or successful than I did for others.  It was a necessary and corrective thing for me to hear.

Finally, what you are doing matters and anytime you need affirmation you have a Source to tap into.  I regularly go to Hebrews 6:7-12 (especially 10) for a reminder.  He notices and that is enough.  You don’t need recognition and affirmation (although it is nice) nearly as much as you need to hear the still small voice.  Chase intimacy with the Holy Spirit more than approval and you’ll be way better off.  And probably more compelling as a leader to boot.